This won’t be a regular thought experiment. It’s more of a challenge for me in which you should feel free to participate.

I was looking up the organizational model of mechanized infantry units (I’ll forgive you if you stop reading now, but I’ll still be disappointed). The google image search (try to remember that I think in pictures) was sprinkled with occasional images of giant robot mecha. I looked at these for a while out of curiosity. I never really got into mecha, which probably surprises some of you.

I mean, when I was a kid I loved Tranzor Z (and especially Aphrodite A for some reason). I watched every single episode of Transformers and Voltron and actually own the Robotech Macross collection (thanks, honey).

So I’m sure this seems like I’m just as into them, but I never seriously nerded out about them. True, it’s more than two decades later and I still want to build a 6 ft tall RC Veritech fighter. Who wouldn’t? It’s a jet that turns into a dude with a gun that turns into a kind of hawk-in-between thing. But me being “into” something involves more than liking what I grew up on. Interest creates nostalgia, but doesn’t necessarily inform your life course.

The important message is that I never tried to design one. Not seriously. I get excited about solving real problems. This doesn’t seem like a real problem. I’ve doodled some thoughts on it, volumed out a few things, but never seriously tried to solve the problem of it. And I think there’s a good reason for that. I’ve never been convinced that they’re necessary.

Admittedly, robots that you can drive have come a little way since the 80s. But really, other than Robotech’s Veritech Fighter (clearly modeled off of an F-15), the mecha seems to be a solution without a problem. In addition, most mecha seem terribly impractical, though they have clearly done well in solving some technical problems. But virtually none of them address the most basic considerations for tactical vehicles. I mean, is walking an absolute necessity or just a neat style choice? Under what battlefield condition would one require a 20-50 foot piloted humanoid robot? Do they all have to look like a person or have two arms spread out like a gorilla? Do they all have to do the toe-walk? How many guns do you really need to cram on the thing? Looks like about thirty. Do they always have to have a tiny body and ungainly long legs? And do they all need to be piloted by body building men, skinny awkward teenage boys, or half-naked voluptuous women?

Maybe I’m being unfair. I mean, I never even tried. It’s probably very difficult to design one. It’s probably also loads of fun that I’m missing out on. So after thinking about this for a little while, I went back to the systems engineering element of my education to establish some requirements and constraints (Js love parameters, another indication that this clearly P field has been commandeered by my beloved but more serious brain siblings, the INTJs). I’m certain I could google the INTx mecha cognoscenti about this and come up with some already written guidance on this (I bet DARPA has some ideas), but what fun would that be?

People are so terrified of “reinventing the wheel” that they never look at how the wheel came to be in the first place. I don’t trace someone else’s drawing in order to start my own. I grab a blank sheet and I start to fill it with images that may or may not look like what’s already out there. And that’s what I’ll do here. Let’s start with the basic (or at least common) characteristics of any tactical vehicle.

General Characteristics
• Consumes fuel organic to the battlefield
• Employs primary weapon system and at least one secondary system, but generally no more than four
• Uses at least one weapon organic to the battlefield
• Solves a particular problem (or set of problems) that no other vehicle does as well
• Fits within larger transport systems adjacent other vehicles
• Able to negotiate its own physical environment with ease
• Readily repaired in field
• Two or more operators/crew, some number of whom do not need to travel with the vehicle on operations
• Roles within vehicle are divided (ie, between transportation and weapon employment)
• Simple input controls, despite complexity of resulting output
• Few moving parts
• Small or low profile that allows the main weapon to be employed before the rest of the vehicle is seen
• Stable when at rest
• Works in tandem/support of/with other vehicles and unit types
• Masters its particular terrain niche
• Can keep up with other vehicles
• Can take a beating
• Matte colors and no unnecessary illumination
• No unnecessary flourishes, decorations, stylish flares or lines

Now let’s look at what role the mecha might actually fill in combat.

General Role
• Transport of heavier weapons (M2HB 50 cal, MK-19 40mm, M-252 81mm, etc) into areas not traversable by other vehicles
• Stable firing platform for carried weapon systems
• Overwatch and physical protection to adjacent dismounted units with light weapons and wheeled/tracked units that are limited to main transport routes (roads, avenues, and other self-funneling paths)
• Non-violent mission support (transport, loading/unloading, construction, medical evacuation, etc)

Note that I don’t include the psychological effect in here or in anything else. That effect is most valuable when the system itself has been demonstrated to be effective. Once it has lost that air of effectiveness or invulnerability, so goes the fear. Consider how imposing tanks were in WWII until the first time people saw one stopped with a simple Molotov cocktail. Thus, we’re just talking function here.

These lead me to a list of requirements but first I’d like to know what you think.

Are mecha inevitable or never-to-be? What would they actually look like and what would they actually do?

At this point I don’t really care. I think I’ll just have fun with it and see where it goes. And hey, this came out after I wrote this but before I posted it.

So we’re getting there… and a few other places too. Remember, even The Terminator couldn’t take a shotgun to the chest without taking a minute to stand up again.

Build something,
-CG